Harry Potter 7

Well, I must say, the Harry Potter 7 premiere was one of the most EPIC NIGHTS I've had in a long time. Let me explain to you how cool it is to be around about 600 Harry Potter nerds.

Point #1. I think you'd be surprised at how many Harry Potter nerd are extremely hot girls. If you are a true Harry Potter fan, you've basically been following it since around 2nd grade, when the first book came out. Now, back when they were in second grade, the little girls fell in love with the books. Then they grew up, still loving the books, and became insanely hot. I don't think I've met a Harry Potter fan that hasn't read the books from the very beginning of their existence... for example, my friend Kelly tried reading the books when she was older, and she did not enjoy them. This is probably because she didn't start from the beginning, and also because she is SATAN. Anyway, the point is, last night, there were a ton of hot girls waiting in line outside the theater, and let's just say that I may have Patronused way sooner than I expecto'd.

Point #2. The more obscure your costume is, the more people love it. There are about a million people dressed as Harry, and Hermione, and Ron. I was the only person there wearing a cow costume. Oh, you read right. A cow costume. Actually, my upper half was a wizard, with a nice argyle sweater and a tie, but my lower half was a cow. Naturally, a lot of people wondered what I was. Why was I wearing a cow costume? Why was I dancing in the middle of the street, pouring apple cider down my pants? Well, I'll tell you.
First of all, that second part didn't actually happen. I didn't even have access to apple cider. But, I was wearing a cow costume. So when people asked what I was, I said "I'm an animagus in training. You see, I'm about halfway through the training program, thus I can only become half a cow." It was pretty sweet.  About 10 people said that I had the best costume there, which was weird, because my costume had almost nothing to do with Harry Potter. Oh, well.

Point #3. Some girl said I was cute! That was awesome.

So, recap of what happened last night. Once we got to the theater, we walked around, casting spells on people, and talking to people with the coolest costumes/ the hottest girls with the lamest costumes. We witnessed a Harry Potter rap, a wizard's duel, and some weird homeless guy who went around, creeping everybody out. All in all, it was a fantastic night. I love Harry Potter.

Welcome to this blog!

Have you ever read a blog? Well, after reading this blog, you'll be thinking, "Holy crap, it seems as if I've never read a blog before!" Of course, after reading this, you will have read a blog, and you won't be thinking that anymore. That's how good my blog is. It literally makes you forget about all the blogs you've ever read before this one, because compared to this one, it looks like a pidgeon took a crap on a computer screen and clicked "Publish." Technically, that would just produce an empty blog, because pidgeon crap doesn't show up in blogs, but you get the point.

Welcome, friends. If sliced bread had a blog, then this would be the best blog since sliced bread made aforementioned blog.
Try saying that last sentence 5 times fast. Now try saying it 5 times fast while your stupid housemate Mike prattles on in your ear about how good his ramen is. It's IMPOSSIBLE. God damn it, Mike.

So, the point is, this blog is going to be good. I've already explained how good it will be in two different ways. I guess I might as well keep going. It will be so good that if you ran into a genie, and the genie said you could have 3 wishes, the first would be to go back in time and relive the moment when you were reading my blog. Then you'll do that again 2 more times.

So, enjoy, you silly boys and girls. Someday, when the tales of yore are being told, somebody will unravel this blog, which will of course be copied onto the historical parchments, and read it to the children of the future.

To the children of the future, I say...

Please tell me people don't wear 3D glasses from movie theaters anymore.