So I decided...

...to write! I guess you've figured that out by now, and if you haven't, then that's really weird, because you're reading what I'm writing... Anyway, here's some general musings by Monsieur Eric James Barger the first.

1. I'm celebrating no shave November at the moment, and here's a few reasons why I'm thinking of giving up. It looks like somebody shaved off their pubes, rubbed my face with superglue, and then threw their cup of pubes on my face. Ok, yes, that actually happened, but still, that's what my face looks like even when that doesn't happen.
Why does it look like that, you ask? Well, despite the fact that my dad looks like Gandalf dumped a bottle of rogaine on his face, I can hardly grow any facial hair. There are 12 year old girls that look more manly than me right now.
But, of course, there are a few hairs that peek out, just to say, "HEY, THIS CHIN IS DISGUSTING!" They're not long enough to warrant shaving, but long enough so that everybody notices that my face looks like cat vomit.
So, yes, I am single, just in case you're wondering.

Here's another musing:  BALLOOONS!
I literally had the best party ever this weekend. For 3 hours straight, my housemates and I blew up balloons, occasionally pausing to let the blood come back to our heads. But what happened next will blow your mind (lonely island reference). EVERYBODY STARTED HAVING SEX!!!
Not true. BUT our entire living room floor was coated with balloons. Anywhere you tried to walk, there were BALLOONS! Look inside my fireplace, THERE WERE BALLOONS. Look on the couch, THERE WERE BALLOONS. Look inside my butthole, THERE WAS A BALLOON, but that was the next day when I got my prostate examined. Should I ever find out how to use my god damn Droid and upload a picture to here of all the balloons, I will. But until then, I will simply end this blog with a quote from my favorite author.

"Pain is weakness leaving the body. Pooping is poop leaving the body. In my case, pooping is blood leaving the body. " - M.C. Hammer